Savoring Life

How many people do you know who have had their lives taken from an unnatural cause?  This has been a part of my world for as long as I can remember, though I never thought twice about it until it began happening to people I knew and cared about.  Now, I realize that the something I believe in and would stand up for is life and that my experiences have changed me and the way that I live my life.  

When I was in the third grade, my mom was kidnapped at gunpoint.  She was at the gas station when it happened.  When the guy singled my mom out of all the people and threatened to take her away from me forever.  Thankfully, my mom escaped with only minor injuries.  Even though she is safe now, this event made me realize, even at such a young age, how valuable life is and how quickly it can be taken away.  

In the seventh grade my best friend's mom was murdered.  To make matters worse, she wasn't killed by just a random guy on the street, but by a man that she loved and thought that she knew.  After her mom was killed, I didn't like being around her because it made me feel nervous and guilty because I still had a mother and a father while she had neither.  The first time I saw her after it happened, I gave her a hug and we both cried.  She cried because of her mom and I cried because I couldn't understand why this had happened to a person who couldn't deserve it less.  Now, when I see her, I'm neither nervous, nor guilty, nor do I withhold information just because it is about my family.  I can tell her about my family and she can tell me about hers without any nerve wrecking silences. 

Again, after this, I realized that life is not guaranteed.  I realized that when we are born and the invisible contract is made, the fine print reads that life is never a guarantee and it can be ended before it had hardly begun.  After realizing this, I began to change every negative aspect about myself that I could, from my personality to the way I presented myself to others.  At some point during all our lives, this change begins to occur and we continue to change until we are no longer able to live.  I changed because I figured out that my life may not last and I knew that I didn't want people to remember me the way I was, but I wanted to be remembered with a smile.