What I believe

What is wrong with me? Is that not a question that deserves an answer? That is a question I’ve asked myself daily since October of 2008. That month my life changed over night. It seemed as if my health turned from the best of time to the worst of times. Hospitals, doctor’s office visits, tests, specialists, and medicine are what the doctors call the million dollar work up.

The doctors are still trying to find out what’s wrong with my body today. Technology has improved over the years but not improved enough to find out what’s wrong with each baby, child, or adult who comes in sick and needs help. There is a chance they walk out of the hospital with an answer that is positive or an answer that could be negative. With a negative answer then it’s a chance they continue to get sicker like myself.

Life rewards me with about two and a half weeks a month where I’m feeling pretty good. The rest of the month is filled with most of the time with days of uncertainty of when and where I will be found in and unconscious state. It was during one of those days of uncertainty that I decided to abandon my childhood dreams of becoming a beautician to becoming a Pediatric Registered Nurse. Why the change? I feel my experience as a young person can help encourage hope in other children, no matter what their age or circumstance is.

While the medical institutions have not found a definite explanation for my health problems there is reason to be hopeful even though I long for a diagnosis. Weather a person’s hope proves valuable or disappointing all depends on what that hope is based on.

In order to hope a person has to desire for something good to happen, maybe for you or for someone else. Scientists and doctors promise a better world with cures for sickness and diseases. What hope is there for a complete cure or total prevention of all diseases?

I keep close to heart the promise of a time soon to come when this earth will be a paradise where “No resident will say, I’m sick.” (Isaiah 33; 24) Yes, one day I will be healthy again. This is what I believe. This is my hope. So no matter what, I keep in mind, if I keep hope alive things will turn out for the most part all right.